NEWS FLASH ! HEAD MOUSE OF STATE, PLAYED BY M. OBAMA, ROARS THAT RUSSIA MUST BACK OFF GOBBLING UP MORE UKRAINE, PIECE BY PIECE, OR “SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.”
NEWS FLASH ! SURPRISE, GENERALISSIMO PUTIN EATS UP CRIMEA, FINDS IT GOOD & STARTS LICKING HIS NEXT MEAL, EASTERN UKRAINE.
NEW NEWS FLASH ! COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF MOUSE, PLAYED BY M. OBAMA, ON ORDERS FROM HEAD MOUSE OF STATE, ALSO PLAYED BY M. OBAMA, DECLARES WAR ON PUTIN – IN A GAME OF CHESS !
FLASH – OUTCOME: COMMANDER MOUSE, PLAYED BY M. OBAMA, DECLARES HE DIDN’T REALLY MEAN IT – AND UNILATERALLY SURRENDERS TO G. PUTIN !
NEXT NEWS FLASH: AIDE–DE–CAMP MOUSE, PLAYED BY THE EU, DEMANDS THAT RUSSIA, AS WINNER OF THE CHESS GAME, PROVIDE THE EU AS LOSERS – FINANCIAL AID, GAS AND OIL SUBSIDIES, REBUILD THEIR UNSUSTAINABLE CRADLE TO GRAVE WELFARE SYSTEM AND GUARANTEE EU WORKER MICE REDUCED 28 – 32 HOUR WORK WEEK & 2 MONTH LONG VACATIONS INSTEAD OF CRUMMY MONTH-LONG VACATIONS.
LATEST NEWS FLASH: G. PUTIN TELCON WITH M. OBAMA: “HAH, HAH, I WOULD HAVE BEEN AFRAID IF I HADN’T HEARD YOUR SQUEEKING LIKE A MOUSE , INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE A LION!”
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