THE TRIAL OF TRAVELER: HORSE GUILTY OF INCITING TO RIOT – SENTENCED TODAY !

EXTRA !

TRAVELER – ROBERT E. LEE’S FAITHFUL HORSE AND CONSTANT COMPANION WAS ARRESTED.

TRAVELER WAS UNCEREMONIOUSLY THROWN DOWN FROM HIS PEDESTAL; FOOTCUFFED AND LED AWAY.

TRAVELER IS CHARGED WITH CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT GRIEVOUS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HARM TO SENSITIVE LIBERALS AND BLACK AMERICANS AND OF INCITING THEM TO RIOT.

BAIL DENIED !

TRAVELER DEEMED A SERIOUS FLIGHT RISK – BASED ON HIS PAST.  THE COURT NOTED TRAVELER’S TRAVELS INTO THE PEACEFUL NORTH ON WAR RAIDS; AND HIS LATER BEHAVIOUR IN EVADING THE TERRIBLE SWIFT SWORD THAT CHASED HIM ALL  OVER THE SOUTH.

THE STADIUM WAS COMMANDEERED AS HOLDING JAIL; NOTING THAT HIS BRONZE STATURE GIVES HIM ENOUGH HEFT TO BE ABLE TO BREAK OUT OF  THE COUNTY JAIL.  INDEED, 100’s DEPUTIZED TO CLEAN THIS TEMP JAIL STABLE AND STOP ESCAPE THROUGH ITS MANY EXITS.

HIS CO-CONSPIRATOR, ROBERT E. LEE, IS SEPARATELY JAILED TO PREVENT THEM CONSPIRING AGAIN TO ESCAPE AMERICA’S GRAPES OF WRATH.

WORRISOME NEWS !

THE ASPCA STEPS IN TO DEFEND TRAVELER!

THIS IS TERRIBLY DISTRESSING NEWS TO ALL THE RIGHTEOUS MANNING THE WATCH-FIRES GUARDING AGAINST STATUE CESS-POTS COMMITTING AGRESSION AGAINST OUR PEOPLE.

WHEN ASKED WHY STEP IN:  THE ASPCA  SAID IT’S REPUTATION IS AT STAKE.  IT MUST PRESERVE ITS RELENTLESS PURSUIT OF ANIMAL RIGHTS AS THE TRUE HUMANITY; AND RELENTLESS DAMNING OF THE CRUELTY OF INHUMANE HUMANS.

WORSE NEWS !

THE ASPCA HAS HIRED FAMED SUPREME JUSTICE GINSBERG TO DEFEND TRAVELER.  SHE IS TO RESIGN FROM THE COURT FOR THIS SUPREMELY IMPORTANT CASE.

WHEN ASKED WHY SHE, A LIBERAL, WOULD TAKE THE CASE OF A CLEARLY EVIL MURDEROUS HORSE, HER CLARION CRY STRUCK SHOCK AND AWE IN THE HEARTS OF ALL.

‘DON’T FORGET’, SHE SAID, ‘LIBERAL THINKERS MUST ALWAYS SUPPORT AND DEFEND  “FELLOW TRAVELERS”’.

SHE SAID THAT IN THESE CASES, IT’S ALWAYS THE EVIL SIREN SONG OF HUMANS WHO HAVE MISLED ANIMALS.   AND IN THE CASE OF ROBT. E. LEE AND HIS FELLOW EVIL CO-CONSPIRATOR HUMANS, THEY MISLED THEIR ANIMALS TO THINK THAT SLAVERY “WOULD MAKE THEM FREE”; AND THEY WOULD BE RELIEVED OF ALL WORK BURDENS.

SO THERE CAN BE NO CULPABILITY ON TRAVELER’S PART FOR WANTING A BETTER LIFE EVEN AT THE EXPENSE OF FELLOW HUMANS.

CONVICTED !

VICTIMS VINDICATED.  TRAVELER CONVICTED ON ALL COUNTS.  PUBLIC HUMILIATION ORDERED.  MASSACHUSETTS PICKED TO MAKE HORSE STOCKS BASED ON LONG EXPERIENCE WITH HUMILIATING HUMANS.

SENTENCE

TRAVELER HAS BEEN PUT BACK ON HIS OLD PEDESTAL – BUT IN HORSE STOCKS.  ANTIFA AWARDED DAMAGES OF 100 BUSHELS OF CARROTS TO TAUNT TRAVELER WITH.  (ASPCA STATEMENT:  PLEASED WITH THE RESULT THAT SPARED THE ROD EVEN IF TRAVELER IS SPOILED.)

 

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